I decided to do it

I decided today to start the HCG shots. My mom signed up for an expensive HCG program about 2 or 3 weeks ago. Although she followed the program, and she did this program once before when she was my age, she didn’t lose any weight. Well, not really. She gained the few pounds that she was supposed to in the first 3 “loading” days, then dropped it the next day (she thinks she mostly peed it off), then lost another pound over the next week. So it didn’t seem to be working, even though she says she followed the diet to the letter. We’ve also since found another HCG program that you do online that costs about $100. So that sucks.

But, on the upside, I’m going to take some of her leftover HCG. My plan is to begin tomorrow and take it for at least 2 weeks. I’m going on vacation the week of April 19. Our biggest plans for the vacation so far are to go to Kansas to see my grandmother, but I’m sure we’ll end up going out to eat with her and my aunt, uncle, and cousins. It’s really hard to eat in a restaurant on this diet, much less on the road. So I’m thinking I’ll just try to hit it hard for 2 weeks, maybe 2 ½, and then just eat healthy things while on vacation, like salads, grilled chicken, etc. My short-term goal is to be significantly smaller before I start my new job, which should start May 1. Okay I don’t actually have the new job yet. It’s another position within my company; I’ve gone through the first round of interviewing, and he said he wants me to do the second interview, but there have been a bunch of personnel switches in that department, so now I don’t know what is happening. But I’m going on the assumption that I have the job, cause I’m just a glass-half-full chick like that. And my long-term goal is to be significantly hotter before my October wedding/ honeymoon. Again, okay, I’m not engaged yet. Just, practically engaged. More on that later.

Prior to making this decision to start HCG, I was very hesitant. I’ve been contemplating HCG since my mom and I first started talking about it about a month ago. The diet is very restrictive, and while I won’t be hungry, emotional hunger can be a bitch. Not to mention the fact that I work for a restaurant company, and all we do is eat. We have meetings over lunch, celebrate everything with lunch or cake, and we have happy hours in-office almost monthly. Avoiding those things will be hard. Not just because I want the yummy stuff, but because it’s a pain in the ass to explain to someone why you won’t go to their fare-thee-well lunch or why you don’t want a margarita when last week you happily put down two of them and went back to work. Yet, as hard as that is, I think I’ve decided it’s harder to be fat. I damned near had a breakdown yesterday because I was going on a date with my boyfriend, and I wanted to wear something cute. I have a few cute things in my closet. And I’m too fat for all of it! I mean, I can get lots of it on, but I look like either a stuffed sausage or a pregnant woman in all of it. I’m so over this. It’s really easy for me to gain weight. I do a pretty good job of not gaining weight, but it feels like the work I do to just not gain weight would make a normal person lose weight. I need this jump-start to get some of my extra 30 – 40 lbs off.

I want to start my first day on the new job in a really cute outfit. I want to wear a wedding dress without a bunch of constricting, fat-holding crap underneath and still look good. I want to get pregnant, and I want it to be easy to see where my bulge ends and where my baby begins. I want to live a healthy life for me, my future husband, and my kids. And I really need this boost to get me out of this awful place that I’m in right now.

So here we go. Tomorrow is Day 1 towards a better version of me.